


Words Unsaid

by MsMusic



Series: Tales from the Castle of Lions [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bittersweet, Canon Compliant, Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) Being a Little Shit, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 23:15:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12330792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMusic/pseuds/MsMusic
Summary: Keith was gonna do it. This had gone on long enough, he had to tell Lance how he felt. After being the only one to keep Keith from ruining the whole mission, Lance was owed a reason why, and Keith planned to give it to him. But things don't always go as planned.





	Words Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place during season 3 after their first big mission with Keith as leader. It's a follow-up to my previous work "Worth a Thousand Words", though it mostly stands on its own. Hope you like my tear-filled angsty Keith fic!

Keith paced back and forth in his room. He had to tell Lance. He couldn’t keep this a secret forever. Things were getting out of hand. Keith had almost cost them the entire mission, possibly even their lives. If it weren’t for Lance he never would have come back to reality and Lance deserved to know why. Keith had tried to bottle it, to just keep it down until it went away, but this  _ thing _ , these  _ feelings _ , they just grew until he couldn’t conceal them any more. Keith was gay. And he was very much in love with one Lance McClain. 

He had started to notice his feelings pretty early on. He had always known something was… different about him. He never had much of an interest in girls, but he didn’t think he had an interest in guys either. Sure he  _ admired _ other people around him, but you can acknowledge someone’s attractiveness without being attracted  _ to _ them. That was merely an aesthetic appreciation. He just hadn’t met the right girl yet. 

That all changed when he met Lance. Or, rather, when he met Lance  _ again _ . Keith had hardly recognized him on that fateful day when they rescued Shiro. The last time they had seen each other was over a year ago, and Lance had completely changed. Now Lance was no longer the shy and awkward kid with acne and an accent that he was at the Garrison. He was confident, cool, relatively well-spoken, he was…  _ hot _ . 

It didn’t take Keith long to realize his feelings for Lance went beyond a mere appreciation of aesthetic. In fact when he really thought about it, so did most of his “appreciation” for the attractiveness of men. Keith tried burying it, knowing Lance could never feel the same way, what with his constant flirting with any alien chick they found. But as time wore on he found it harder and harder to ignore. He knew he needed to talk to someone. He was starting to think he could talk to Shiro about it, he even planned on finally coming out to him before… 

Keith shook the thought out of his head. After what felt like hours of just walking back and forth, he stopped and sighed. “All right, let’s get this over with,” he said to himself as he made his way to the door. He was going to track down Lance and tell him the truth. The door slid open and he was about to step out when he saw a very familiar figure. Keith stared at the tall and lanky boy in front of him, his fist raised above his head, about to knock on Keith’s door. 

“Oh,” Lance said, “uh, hey, Keith.” He stood there, not putting his hand all the way down, clearly still surprised at the door opening. Keith just stared back, suddenly very aware of what he was about to do. He was going to tell Lance, the one guy who’s been there for him since Shiro disappeared, that he was gay and in love with him. What if he rejected him? What if he was disgusted by him? What if he abandoned him? Or even if it went well, what was he expecting? For Lance to suddenly fall head over heels for him in return? Would Lance knowing just make things weird between them? Things were uneasy already, Keith couldn’t stand being alone, not ever again. 

“ _ Ahem _ ,” Lance cleared his throat, pulling Keith out of his own head. “Can I come in?” Keith stepped out of the doorway, allowing Lance entry into his room. Keith moved to sit on his bed out of instinct, expecting Lance to sit and join him. This wasn’t the first time they’d done this. Lance coming to check in on Keith had become a semi-regular occurrence since what happened to Shiro. But when Lance didn’t sit, instead opting to stand awkwardly, Keith leaned forward, knowing something was up. 

“Listen, man,” Lance started, as he often did, “I just wanted to talk to you about something.” Keith’s mind was all over the place. Lance seemed so different. He looked worried, like he was afraid to talk to Keith, afraid of what Keith might think. His hair was all over the place, he was sweating and shaking, his fists kept clenching and unclenching. It was weird after all they’d been through over the last however long it’d been. Keith couldn’t help but think it unnecessary, he wanted to tell Lance to just relax, that whatever he was worried about, he could tell him without stressing out so much, that he could trust Keith. 

Keith could practically hear the irony in his own head. Lance looked like Keith felt. Time to follow his own advice.

“About that last mission…” Lance began, and Keith already knew where this was going, “I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough.”

_ What? _

“I know I screwed everything up back there. I left you guys hanging and then by the time I did get out there I was a total mess, I didn’t know what I was doing.” Keith was shocked. Was Lance honestly blaming himself? 

“Lance, what are you talking about?” Keith questioned.

“I kept flying into you guys, I was falling out of formation, I could barely hold my own out there, I practically cost us the whole thing because I just wasn’t good enough and I—”

“Lance!” Keith cut Lance off from his nervous rambling. “Relax, it’s okay, you didn’t cost us anything. You weren’t the only one who was struggling. I mean, did you see me out there? I was on a friggin’ rampage, I was out of control. You were the only one who managed to get to me, you were the one who was there for me, who brought me back down to Earth… in a manner of speaking. You didn’t cost us the mission, you practically saved it.” 

_ And you deserve to know the real reason why. _

“Lance, there’s something I have to tell you.”

_ I’m gay. _

“It’s something that I’ve wanted to say for a while… but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

_ I like you. _

“I was going to tell Shiro before… you know… but you should know.”

_ I love you. _

“Lance, I…”

_ Come on, say it!  _

“I…”

_ …love you, Lance! I love you! _

“…appreciate you being there for me.”

_ Fuck. _

“I know I can be emotionally distant. I’m not great at expressing my feelings, but I really needed someone to be there for me after I lost Shiro. You keep me sane, grounded, you keep me from completely losing it. I hope you realize how much you mean to me, how important it is to have a friend like you.” Keith could see tears threatening to fall from Lance’s eyes. Lance was trying to hide it, but he wasn’t doing a very good job.

“Thanks, man, you have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.” Lance sniffed and Keith felt his heart cracking just a little bit more. “I think I’m gonna grab a snack, do you want anything?” Keith took a deep breath, his own tears stinging at the back of his eyes.

“Nah, man, I’m pretty tired. I’m probably just gonna get some shut eye.” Lance nodded before heading out the door, looking back with that sweet face that could melt a heart of ice before the door closed behind him. 

Keith sat there staring at the plain white door. He blew it. He wussed out. He even called Lance a friend for chrissake. Keith felt the tears start to fall down his face. Only this time, he didn’t have somebody else to wipe those tears away. He used to have his mom for that when he was a kid, but she was long gone. Shiro had offered to be there for him for quite a while but Keith was too stubborn to take him up on it. Most recently he’d had Lance, but not this time. No, this one he’d just have to deal with alone. Deal with the fear and anxiety keeping him from opening up. Deal with the pain every time Lance hit on a pretty girl. Deal with the isolation knowing nobody truly understood. Keith grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. He screamed again and again and again, screamed at the top of his lungs, shouted every expletive he could think of. 

After a few minutes the tears and curses faded away into puffy eyes and shaky breaths. He lay on his bed, praying for some sort of saving grace he knew wasn’t coming. He’d just have to go through this one by himself. He could do it, it was just going to take more time than he thought. Maybe one day he’d be able to come out to his friends, to his teammates, to Lance. But for now, silently sobbing in his room seemed like a pretty good plan. 

“Someday,” Keith whispered to himself. Loud enough for his muffled voice to reach his own ear, but not loud enough to reach the ear of the concerned boy standing just outside the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked my little story, leave comments telling me what you thought, I'd love to hear some feedback. :)


End file.
